I rush to the bookshelf filled with the completed lie books. I scan the names, over and over. No Alaska Hess.
I spin in a circle, desperately scanning the room. The dread of messing up and disappointing the Elders was like an anvil on my chest.
"Where could it have gone?" I run a panicked hand through my dark hair. I can feel the pressure building in my rib cage and closing my throat with terror. It was like being underwater and seeing all light fade away as I sunk deeper and deeper.
I can no longer see straight. The bookshelf in front of me is fading in and out of focus. Feeling suddenly dizzy, I sit down hard, jarring my head. I'm shaking all over.
I try to get my breathing under control, just like Doctor told me.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Slowly. Painfully. I regained some control of my body.
Using the last of my energy, I drag myself into my cot. Ole Bertha and Alaska Hess will have to wait until morning.
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